Wouldn't it be nice if? is a prompt I pose to my clients regularly. It comes at the end of a list of questions designed to assess how they’re progressing towards their unique goals.
Wouldn't it be nice if? is fun to ask and I encourage the person to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. It can uncover what the subconscious brain sees as the barrier to success and happiness.
One of my past clients was trying to sell her business and it had been a long and frustrating process, so her knee-jerk response was, “…I sold my business.” Another client had been looking for a new home to buy for the better part of a year and her answer was, “…I found my dream home.”
The answers can be distinct, but sometimes responses overlap too. For example, I often hear, “…if I didn’t have to always think about what I eat everyday.”
Most people just want to be free when it comes to their food choices. They don’t want to have to plan, say no to things, dedicate time to food prep, or think about meal composition, meal timing, or meal size. Most people would prefer to let their hedonistic brain take charge and eat impulsively and frivolously.
I get it. Because honestly, so would I.
Donuts? Sure!
Ice cream? Yes, please.
Pizza is being offered? Absolutely.
That extra serving of mashed potatoes? Load it up!
But I think we all know this is how we end up living in a body that doesn’t leave us feeling our best. It results in a heavy, exhausted, and bloated physical and mental existence.
Our clothes don’t fit and we’re unable to move in a way that brings joy. We feel frustrated day in and day out. That frustration impacts our life and affects how we show up for ourselves and the people that matter to us. It does not result in our best self.
So, the alternative is to stay mindful of our eating habits, always evaluating the choices we make and taking the action needed to set ourselves up to feel the way we want to feel.
I like to describe this as quiet vigilance.
It’s similar to what happens when you drive a car. Your unconscious mind is working in the background, checking your mirrors, listening to the sound of your engine, slowing and speeding up as needed, flipping on the indicator light when it’s time to turn.
It’s automatic, but you’re always slightly aware of what’s going on around you. And you know inherently the consequences of taking your eyes off the road for too long.
Sometimes you take risks like texting while you’re driving—akin to buying a pint of Ben & Jerry’s to tuck in your freezer. There’s a good chance that texting will result in a crash, just like the accessibility of that pint will result in you eating it in one go.
Hypervigilance is on the other side of quiet vigilance. You’re obsessed with everything you put in your mouth. You have a lot of food fears and you’re very restrictive. It often leads to cycles of tight control followed by overconsumption. You have a lot of all-or-nothing thoughts, where things are either black or they’re white, and you’re ping-ponging between doing things perfectly and feeling like you’re a total failure.
The polar opposite of hypervigilance is a total lack of awareness of how food impacts your body. You’re frustrated with where you’re at but you have no idea that what you put in your mouth is contributing to the physical and mental heaviness.
Neither complete nutritional cluelessness nor a constant state of diet hypervigilance result in happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
And so my goal in working with people is to equip them with the knowledge, mindset skills, tools, and automatic habits that give them the confidence to exercise a calm sense of quiet vigilance even long after they stop working with me.
Essentially, I teach people to become their own nutrition coach for the rest of their lives.
Are you interested in becoming a nutrition coach, who only ever works with one special client?
If the answer is yes, I’ll help you develop the knowledge you need to know how much to eat for your specific needs and goals, how to choose foods that satiate you and keep you full, and understand the basic principles of good nutrition as they apply to your body, your priorities, and your lifestyle.
You’ll also be fully equipped with the tools you need to adjust your food quantity and quality to match your big picture goals, now and forever.
I’ll also help you develop the right mindset to coach yourself to stay between the lines on the nutrition road. That way, if you swerve a little to the left, you won’t drive right into the ditch. No more distracting nutrition noise, no more diet drama. Instead, you’ll have the compassionate self-awareness to effortlessly self-correct, bringing you back to centre, again and again.
Part of this means learning to focus on what you do well, because that’s what makes up 95% of what’s true! The 5% of slip ups make up very little of who you are or what you do and yet, your sneaky human brain probably focuses on these 95% of the time. It’s like the shame spiral that descends after you get a traffic ticket. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it comes with a dump-truck load of mental regret.
To reduce this, I’ll work with you to tap into your brain’s almost magical neuroplastic capabilities and form new avenues of thought through repeated reminders and conscious and active reframing. My goal is to train your brain to celebrate genuine success, not dwell on perceived failures.
See ya later, inner-bitch.
Just like driving, the secret to long-term nutritional success is having the confidence to rely on quiet vigilance. It won’t matter if you hit a pothole or a speedbump or encounter a sudden detour, because you’ll be deeply aware that you have the skills, knowledge, tools, and automated habits to handle any situation. You might swerve outside the lines from time to time, but you’ll catch yourself before it’s catastrophic. You’ll simply slow down, refocus on the foundations, and make adjustments. In a split second, you’ll effortlessly be back in the lane you want to be in.
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