I recently made my way through Gay Hendricks’s book, The Great Leap, which promises to help you “conquer your hidden fear and take life to the next level.”
It was filled with interesting insight on what holds us back from achieving our true potential. I recommend it if you’re looking for a shift in perspective around your self-limiting beliefs.
In particular, the chapter on time resonated hard. It starts off with the statement, “For your life to work harmoniously, you need to develop a harmonious relationship with time.”
With the quote floating through my head, I had a new and slightly ironic look at the tattoo on my husband’s shoulder. It’s the face of a clock with our son’s left hand marking the time he was born. His name is scripted below.
While this tattoo is all about emotional significance, it’s now also lol, hysterically symbolic. Since we became parents, Broxton does, in many ways, dictate our time.
You might feel this way about your kids too. Or perhaps you feel like your job, your business, or some other high priority demand owns your time.
The point is, no matter the cause, you might not feel like you have enough control over your time. There’s always a push and pull between the priorities competing for that sacred resource. Because of that, you’re constantly juggling and shifting less immediately urgent things onto the list for later.
And often, the things that take a backseat are related to your own self-care. You get carried along in a reactive state, running ragged to meet all the demands. You don’t prioritize your own health and mindset, or do much about how you want to feel.
That can wait, you tell yourself. I don’t HAVE time to lose that weight now. I’ll just buy some bigger clothes and it’ll be fine.
I don’t HAVE time to sleep more right now. I’ll just drink some more coffee and push through.
I’ll have time next week, next month, next year. When things slow down.
You might be telling yourself:
But I’m too busy
But it’s summer
But it’s winter
But there’s a vacation coming up
But work is busy
But school is ending
But school is starting
But I’m working on a big project
But we’re doing renos
And pushing your goals aside, putting yourself last, might be taking its toll. Wearing you down week after week. You’re exhausted, you’re uncomfortable in your body, and your mind is a mess of conflicting priorities.
You’ve probably heard that your health is your wealth. It’s your most valuable asset, resource, and investment. And if you’ve ever been on an airplane, you’ve also probably heard that you must put your oxygen mask on before you put anyone else’s on. The reason? If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of anyone or anything else.
Your kids, your partner, your spouse? They won’t get the best of you.
Your job? You’ll eventually be doing just the bare minimum, letting go of the passion that once made you thrive.
Does this resonate?
If so, stop putting yourself last and pushing off the personal self-care goals that mean so much to you. Accept that “now” will never feel like exactly the right time to dig in and make change. Choose to do it anyway.
As my client said wisely the other day, “If I wait for my life to get quiet to get organized, it’s not going to happen.” That’s the reality.
Most of us know what we need to change. Making time for it and investing in the change is the hard part. But the opportunities to invest in change are not infinite. At some point, there will be consequences.
Have you ever heard that you get three chances for change?
The first invitation comes with a gentle brush of a feather. It’s soft and kind. If you’re not paying attention, you might not notice.
The next invitation is a bit less subtle. It’s like having a brick dropped on you. It’s heavy, it’s hard, and it’ll hurt. It will leave a mark and that mark will take some time to recover from. But if you’re lucky, there will be no lasting damage.
If you ignore that second sign, the third is unmistakable. It’s the equivalent of getting hit by a garbage truck. The damage will be life-altering.
When I think back to my own journey, I see now that I was confronted by a subtle feather tickling me on the day of my 20-week ultrasound. My pregnancy was going fine, but this was the first moment when the push and pull of my chaotic all-consuming career and my newfound identity as a mom became a problem.
The brick came nearly two years later when the conflict between these two identities really kicked in. I developed stress induced heart palpitations. They came out of nowhere and set up a pervasive rhythm of two per minute, every minute, of every day, and they persisted for a total of three years—totaling about three million disrupted heartbeats.
It took me about a year and a half to admit their cause, understand the consequences of living in that permanent state of stress, and realize that it was “time” to put myself first. That’s when I made the radical decision to change careers and enter the health and wellness space.
I was lucky—the garbage truck gave me some time to figure out the message before slamming into me full force and causing damage I couldn’t recover from.
For you, the warning that things are at odds may not be so extreme.
You might still be in the feather stage. The signs that you need to focus on your health and mindset might include a feeling of inescapable exhaustion, a lack of interest in pursuing joyful things, feeling anxious or negative all the time, or having a hair-trigger temper.
Or maybe your cholesterol or blood pressure is creeping up or you’re feeling so uncomfortable in your clothes that you don’t want to socialize anymore. Those are the subtle warnings.
I can’t tell you what’ll come next, but the brick may already be on its way to you. Pay attention. You already know what needs to change.
Having a harmonious relationship with time means that you understand that you own the time you have. You own those precious 1440 minutes that make up each day. Don’t squander them. You get to choose to make time for what matters. If you don’t make a deliberate decision, the universe may do it for you—and you might not like the result. It’s that simple.
What will you make time for?
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