Who do you make decisions for? And why it matters

I have a reliable system that I follow each weekday morning. Part of it is pleasurable—that first morning coffee and some kiddo cuddles—but most of it is functional. It’s focused on prepping my son’s school lunch, getting him breakfast, and then out the door to meet the school bus on time.

But there’s one task I do that has nothing to do with immediate need.

Curious what it is?

Prepping veggies for our evening meal. Not glamorous—but game-changing.

I built this into my morning routine too many months ago to remember exactly when and I’ve been doing it on autopilot ever since.

Today was a bit different though. I was pressed for time and faced a dilemma: should I chop the veggies or empty the dishwasher? I hate a full dishwasher, so that task held some urgency.

But in that moment, I did what I do often when I need to evaluate which path to take. I asked myself what Future Me would be thankful she didn’t have to do later.

The veggies won because I already had a bunch of them out for my son’s lunch, as well as the cutting board and knife. If I cleaned up to empty the dishwasher, I’d be stuck having to get all the supplies and equipment out again.

Future Me would be so annoyed with that scenario.

On the other hand, Future Me would be so grateful for a pre-made salad that I’d just have to dump into a bowl and splash some dressing on before plunking it on the table.

Do you ever consider what Future You would be so thankful for when you’re contemplating what action you should take?

Do you even know who Future You is?

If not, let’s break that identity down.

Future You is a planner. She’s the logical part of you who appreciates the small but wise choices you make today that sometimes feel hard or uncomfortable. Future You is more aligned, more intentional, and more at peace because of the decisions you made when it was inconvenient or tempting to choose a different path. Future You says "no" to things now so she can say "yes" to better things later and because of this, Future You is the one who feels:

• Rested because you shut your screen off and honoured your sleep schedule

• Clear and energized because you got off the couch and focused on food prep so your body gets the nourishment it needs

• Calm and purposeful because you got out of bed right when the alarm went off so you didn’t start the day already behind schedule

• Strong and confident because you said no to after-work drinks in favour of your date with the gym

Future You is in contrast to Present You or the Me-of-the-Moment. This identity is the impulsive, hedonistic side of you. She’s focused on moving towards pleasure and away from the risk of discomfort so you get what you want now—forgetting all about what you might need later!

Present You:

• Seeks relief when the day has been long and your energy and capacity have run out

• Wants comfort—whether that’s in snacks, scrolling, binge-watching, or skipping the hard thing (like exercise)

• Makes choices reactively

• Struggles to pause and think ahead

Now, don’t misinterpret. Present You is not the enemy! She’s part of you because she’s meant to keep you safe—giving you what you need now to bring calm and comfort. She’s not lazy, unmotivated, or lacking in willpower, she’s just doing what she thinks is best right now.

But if you have aspirations and goals to reach, Future You is the one who will help you achieve them. And that means consciously considering what Future You needs in the face of what Present You wants.

But just how do you nurture and grow this part of your identity?

You start rewiring your default setting. Instead of just rolling with what feels good in the moment, you start considering what you might want or how you might want to feel in an hour, in a day, in a week.

How will your choice now affect you later?

For example, if you choose water over wine at dinner, would you sleep better? What other temptations can you say no to now so that you feel better later?

A helpful tool to start building the habit of choosing Future You is to write out your options when you feel caught between the push and pull of the two identities.

Not only will doing this help you get very clear about the dilemma you’re facing but it will also build in a buffer of time so that you have the space to evaluate what you truly want and the reason for it.

Try using this sentence when you feel caught in the tug-of-war between what you want now and what you’ll need later:

I acknowledge that Present Me wants ____________ because ___________—but Future Me will be so thankful for __________ because ___________. I choose to ___________ because __________.

An example is:

I acknowledge that Present Me wants to relax on the couch tonight because I’m exhausted from a busy day at work—but Future Me will be so thankful for a walk in the fresh air because it will refresh and energize me while also helping me feel less anxious. I choose to go for the walk because I want to feel calm and peaceful tonight, which will help me sleep better and wake up refreshed tomorrow.

Overriding your default Me-of-the-Moment identity will not happen overnight. But by patterning new thought habits, change IS possible. So put in the work, do the reps, build your mental muscle, and don’t give up!

As James Clear says in his book, Atomic Habits, “Habits are not about doing something specific, they’re about becoming someone specific.”

Each time you override what your Me-of-the-Moment wants, you cast a vote for your Future Self.

And the work you do will compound. A small change today + a small change tomorrow, on repeat, will stack up to life changing results. One vegetable chopped, one walk taken, one screen turned off—each one is a brick in the foundation of becoming the kind of person who can confidently say “I am someone who takes care of my future self.”

📩Did something here give you insight or lighten your mental load? If so, can you think of a friend, colleague, or family member that would also have a better day because of it? Consider sharing the link with them—you never know whose day you might help shift for the better.