Have you ever had one of these days? It was crazy busy at work and you scarcely remember the drive home. Then, almost like you were outside of your body, you witness yourself Zombie-walk through the front door and straight to the pantry.
Your hand floats up, without conscious control, to snag that box of melt-in-your-mouth-salty-sweet-cracker-cookie-thingies that has been sitting untouched for months. You see yourself peeling back the flap with one hand, while turning on your most recent Netflix addiction with the other.
As the first piece of delight slips into your mouth, you’re suddenly fully present in your body as your mouth explodes with fireworks in response to the salt, the sugar, the fat, and every ingredient in between. You settle into the couch with a sense of relief that is the perfect antidote to the day.
An hour later, you snap to, wondering where the time went…and more importantly, who ate all the cookie-cracker-thingies! You look around, only to realize it must have been you.
Ugh, you think to yourself, why do I always do this after a tough day?
There is a VERY good reason for it—actually there are a bunch of good reasons for it! And don’t worry, if this perfectly describes what does happen to you after a tough day, you’re not alone.
The truth is, the human brain is wired for this kind of response to stress. First, it’s important to accept that stress can mess with your mind and impair executive function and self-regulation. You might be more impulsive and ignore the bigger picture. That’s why, when under stress, your larger nutrition and wellness goals suddenly become irrelevant in the moment.
When you’re feeling stressed, there’s an increase in cortisol and adrenaline. Your brain is triggered to seek rewards to offset the chaos caused by the hormonal changes. Your body despises discomfort and wants to return to a balanced state as quickly as possible.
And eating feels good. When you don’t want to feel bad, your brain knows that eating is one of the simplest, most time efficient ways to undo that feeling. It triggers the “rest and digest” response in your nervous system, helping to relax your body and mind.
The reason you tend to crave sweet and/or salty snacks is because feel-good chemicals like dopamine are especially tied to highly palatable foods that are laden with an irresistible combination of sugar, fat, and salt.
Adding to this, stress can also mess with your hunger and appetite hormones that generally help you self-regulate your food intake. Your satiety hormone may be supressed, while your hunger hormone increases.
There are a multitude of factors at play when you’re stressed that can result in you face-planting into a box, bag, or bowl of something sensational. Don’t expect yourself to reach for celery and carrot sticks in those moments.
It’s important to recognize that eating in the face of stress is simply a coping mechanism. Leaning into guilt and shame around stress eating is going to be counterproductive—it will simply cause more stress that you’ll try to escape by seeking out more quick food rewards. And the cycle will spin out of control.
Instead, offer yourself some kindness and acknowledge that you’re a normal human. Eating is a tool to reduce stress and simply self-soothe in the moment. Being able to comfort yourself in stressful situations is the RIGHT thing to do.
But if you’re ready to change your behaviour, also acknowledge that food isn’t the only tool you have to escape stress. And in some ways, food may be the wrong tool in that it results in more stress, like feeling icky after eating too much and those residual sensations of regret, frustration, shame, and guilt.
If you’re ready to repattern old habits, begin by considering what else helps you to alleviate stress. For example, could a walk or workout help? Does doing a few slow and controlled deep breaths calm your body and mind? What about talking to a good friend, your partner, or a family member about your day? How about listening to a podcast, playing with your dog, or immersing yourself in your favourite hobby or craft?
In addition to going for a walk with a good podcast, I like to do something as simple as brush my teeth to create a stop-gap between the stress-related impulse to eat and the act. It seems simple, but it can be hugely powerful.
Make a list of what else you could do to recover from stressful experiences. Next time you have "one of those days", look to the list and commit to doing just one thing from it before you turn to food. This can offer pattern disruption and create just a bit of space between an old, now automated response to make room for a new, desired outcome.
Assess how you feel after you’ve done that one thing and if you still feel the desire to eat, do so—without judgement. Know that you’ve already started to rework decades-old patterns where food may have been the only thing you’ve turned to in stressful moments. Accept that learning to self-comfort without the use of food is a skill that will take time to learn.
But digging deep into other ways of alleviating your stress is an excellent way to start repatterning entrenched habits. Get curious about what you need and why as you seek to recover from stressful experiences. Understand that it will take time to forge new habits but when it happens, it might just be life changing!
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